I set out to not review books I didn't like, but I just finished one that I'd like to write about without naming the title.
When I was younger (and still now sometimes) I fancied myself a bit of an "internal goth". I've always been drawn to creepy things and suspenseful shows and movies. My first book in 3rd grade was titled "Who Killed Ben ******" and yes, I used the real name of a boy in my class; the boy I happened to have a crush on, or so I proclaimed.
I still remember sitting with a bunch of other girls during free time at school and they asked who I had a crush on. I didn't really like anyone at that point, but I looked around the room and said, huh, Ben looks good. "I have a crush on Ben." And from that point until the end of the year, he was my crush for no more reason than because I picked him on a whim.
Can you imagine how he felt knowing I wrote a book about who killed him? I even drew pictures of a gun and him lying with blood all around him. I wonder if his parents knew about the book. What a creepy kid I was! I didn't know this at the time, but my mom recently told me she saw the school counselor about that little book. I would too if my daughter wrote that!
Okay, that was a hugely long tangent. Anyway, I've always liked Tim Burton movies, wanted to be the little girl vampire (Kirsten Dunst) on Interview with a Vampire, painted my nails black on weekends, listened to punk music, etc, etc, etc.
So, the past couple of weeks, I picked up a very "gothic" feeling YA book to get back to my roots. I feel I've been losing myself over the past few years what with marriage and becoming a mother. I listen to country music more than anything these days for goodness sakes. Where did "I" go?
To commemorate getting back into goth, I even painted my nails gray which is actually fashionable right now so it wasn't very edgy.
So, about the book. It was creepy! It did its job there, but overall I found myself not caring about the characters and I struggled to finish it. This was weird because the first maybe quarter of the book I loved. I thought about it all the time and was in love with the main character, but as the story went on, it just lost me.
I know I can't really do a good job of describing why this happened since I don't want to name the book on here, but overall, it actually gave me confidence in my own writing. Seeing this book get published and do so well gave me hope for my own book and my own writing.
And about being gothic, I guess I've just grown up, or changed. I took the nail polish off, finished the book, and went back to country, to the "me" that I am now.